rot

you've become a disease that lingers in the house. bad air. i'm afraid to breathe when you're close. i can feel you trying to rot me out. you keep pushing against me, hoping i'll decay and falter and collapse taking everything with me. you're filth, and i can't believe you think i can't wash you away.

"That was the voice of an animal."

I don't understand how you love, and I'm not interested in the analysis. My thesis isn't about you anymore.

sentimental shit like he has

It sometimes a good thing when you're stumbling along and thinking of the rest of the world when you find that old cardboard box. You had put a tiny piece of love inside and tucked it away. It's a little dusty now, but with a little oil and care, we can get this engine running again.

it bubbles up in my throat

sometimes i know; sometimes i don't know anything at all.

you can feel your throat and teeth shape it to something your's.

it left a deep black bruise where i shouldn't have been holding it, but couldn't stop. each shot a tease for the next until he slipped in a double buck. he says it flew out of my hands. that it looked like a panel from a comic book i sometimes try not to think about, but catch myself mirroring. anyway, he says i'm proud of it, like it's a medal. and he's right, you know. he's right about a lot.

cat carcasses

i tried to imagine your responses. snippets of her thoughts and no return address for you. the photos i wanted someday. her's being mine, just later. all the things you thank me for, you probably already thanked her. sometimes not like that at all. people lost from birth.
it sometimes feels better knowing this is just another tuesday for you. i think it's not, i don't know how. nothing is ever clever, but i have uncomfortable knots that say i'm not at all. do you feel like you're ahead, this time?

coccygectomy

i have a weird scar i can't explain. something i don't remember, something my parents laugh at when i ask if they can recall. a mystery he declares is remnants of something else. he adds that this explains a lot. my missing tail...